Memories
by LaZ Chaos
Summary: This story is Rusty's comrades' memories of him before his death. Having fallen in love with Rusty's personality, admittingly I made it, I wanted to show a story of times before he died. Athrun's memories put up first. Dearka is next.
1. Athrun

**Rusty Story**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed, but I suppose I own Rusty's personality since it never is mentioned in the books or show.**_

_**Ok, I had fun writing my one-shot, Ultimate Sacrifice, and I got some good reviews. I decided to do another Rusty story, but this one going more into his background (that I invented since, again, it wasn't mentioned in Gundam Seed. Please read and review!**_

_**Character: Mostly Athrun and Rusty, though it has a few others. I'm going from Athrun's POV, the last one to actually sit down and think about it, all the way down to Miguel's before Kira kills him. (Damn Kira…got Rusty killed; killed Miguel, Nicol, and Raw Le Klueze (or however you spell it); gave Yzak the scar…etc, etc…) **_

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The day is hot; everyone in PLANTs preferring to stay inside with the A/C cranked to get away from the blast of hot air. Not even Athrun dares to stay outside. No, the 'Red Knight', as Miriallia has called him, decided that the heat is too much. Or perhaps it is because he hasn't been able to enter his old home in ages due to living in ORB under a fake name. Who knows?

Forced to stay inside, Athrun has decided to go through the old war objects; the items that he can relate to his friends…and those of them that have died. Sighing softly, Athrun gently takes out two medium-sized boxes from the bottom of his closet, yelping when a spider suddenly crawls up the wall. Grabbing the first thing he could, Athrun sprays the spider with glass-cleaner spray, giving a triumphant smirk when the spider falls to the floor; unfortunately, it pops right back up, causing the ace soldier to give another yelp and grab a shoe that is conveniently in the closet before slamming it soundly on the spider, spinning the shoe a few times to make sure the creature is effectively silent and unmoving. _'Damn spiders…' _he thinks, mentally glowering. He tosses the shoe back in the closet, a slight blush on his face as he thinks back to his reaction. _'I'm a soldier…I can face a gun, but not a spider?' _

Giving a soft chuckle at his foolishness, Athrun finishes pulling the boxes out, checking them for spiders, before carrying them to the living room and setting them down on the floor; shoe and bug-spray close to hand. He has no idea if bug-spray works on spiders, but he'll see if one comes around.

Opening the larger box gently, with a tenderness that he had managed to keep even through the first war, and the second, not wanting to harm any of the objects inside. Gently, he removes Nicol's sheet music that he had kept, although he should have given them to the boy's grieving parents. Smiling, he thinks back to when he had heard Nicol play a few of these very sheets; chuckling when the boy had told him that he saw the blunette sleeping even though he hadn't been.

Plunging further, he pulls out a thin chain with an eagle design on it. The chain is expensive and beautifully crafted, although the boy who had owned it wasn't someone you could call rich. Actually, he was the farthest you could find that actually lived in a building; he was an orphan. That also explains why Athrun has the chain instead of family.

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_Glancing up from his book, Athrun regarded the cheery red-head with a steady gaze, wondering just why this boy had interrupted his studying…and why he wasn't studying himself. Placing a bookmark into the page he had stopped at, Athrun closed the book gently before looking back up at the red-head once more. He seemed to be a year younger than himself. "May I help you?" the blunette questioned softly, but steadily. _

_The boy smiled, holding his hand out towards Athrun. "I'm Rusty Mackenzie. I wanted to introduce myself to you, Zala-kun, since we are going to be roommates," he said, his voice soft and gentle. Before Athrun can get a word in edge-wise, Rusty held up one hand to halt the blunette's words. "Everyone knows who you are, Zala-kun. You're the assistant-chairman's son…" he reminded, correctly predicting Athrun's next sentence. _

"_O-oh, I see…" Athrun said, eyes wide at the cheerful boy's natural talent for observation. That was one of the only times he had been predicted like that in a long time. "Nice to meet you, Mackenzie-kun…" he smiled, adding the Japanese honorific since this boy seemed keen on using them._

_Rusty laughed, closing his eyes in amusement. "You don't have to use the honorific…I don't mind. I just grew up in an orphanage where the Mistress was a descendant of the Japanese culture. Most people don't think to use it; thank-you, Zala-kun…" he said, his smile faltering ever-so-slightly at the mention of his home-life. _

_Athrun nodded, surprised at how easy going this talented observer was. Frowning, Athrun paused suddenly. "Mackenzie…I've heard that name somewhere…" he whispered, not comprehending just where he had heard this boy's last name with such a meaning behind it, albeit unknown at the moment. _

_Rusty smiled sadly, but proudly. "Caleb Mackenzie…" he offered._

_Athrun blinked, recognizing the name immediately. "…the hero of the last war…" he continued, eyes wide._

_The boy smiled, the emotion not quite meeting his eyes. Sitting down in the chair beside the blunette, he nodded. "Yeah…my father. He died before I was born. My mother committed suicide soon after the knowledge of his death, or so the Mistress told me. I'm proud to be his son…I hope I can make him proud up there…" he whispered, his fingers reaching towards his neck to brush against the eagle pendant of a thin, expensive chain. Noticing Athrun's gazing towards the chain, he removed it from his neck and held it out for the prodigy to look at. "It's the pendant he had gotten a year before his death, when he had earned the title of 'War Hero'…" he explained, although he knew that Athrun knew. "Go ahead and take a look at it, Zala-kun; I don't mind!"_

"_Th-thank-you…" he whispered softly, gently plucking the pendant from the boy's palm. The silver shined, obviously well taken care of. _

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Athrun smiles softly at the memory of their first meeting. After his death, they looked at the list of things he wanted to personally give out. Some of it was rather amusing, and so him.

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'_To my friend Zala-kun, I give my pendant and chain. You're an amazing pilot…be the new 'War Hero'. I also give you my drawings; I saw you eyeing them when you first noticed them! _

_To Amarfi-kun, I give my respect and hope that you will quit the war and do what you can to raise hopes instead of pulling the trigger. I will always say that. You are an amazing pianist. Don't risk that power by fighting on the front-lines, Amarfi-kun. I also give you my quill-pen…you borrowed it enough to appreciate owning it, anyway!_

_To Elthsman-san, I give my skin magazines. Kidding, don't own any! (Don't look under my bed! Just kidding, I honestly don't own any!) Since I can't do that, I'll give you that book I promised to lend you but never thought to do so._

_Jule-san; you own more than I could even imagine! If there is something you want, you can get first dibs on it, how about that? Unless it's already been given to someone, of course. Sorry for giving Zala-kun the pendant._

_Aimen-san; I'm giving you the journal I never wrote in. Please use it; I want you to write out your feelings. It'll sure beat hiding them inside. _

_To Mistress Sanders, I give nothing since she is a horrible person who will probably take half of my stuff anyway. Actually, I will put this in writing. She may not, CAN NOT, take anything that belongs to me. I thank her for teaching me to respect and all, but that respect I had towards her I have lost long ago. _

_If these people can not be given the specified items, I am deeply sorrowed. They will be given to the next best person, I suppose. The pendant, however, will go to Jule-san if Zala-kun can not accept it. Then to Amarfi-kun; then Aimen-san. If all else fails, it shall go to Elthsman-san. (It's not food! Don't eat it! Just kidding!) If that isn't possible, put it in my grave so I can take it with me and return it to my father. _

_Signed,_

_Rusty Mackenzie_

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Tears sting Athrun's eyes at the very though of his death. He was an amazing person; so cheerful for having such a tough life. Setting the boxes aside, knowing he'll never manage to got through anything else today, he loses himself in the memories he holds of the past.

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_Athrun walked into the room with his other roommate, Nicol Amarfi, only to find the orphan curled up atop of the covers in a slight fetal position. His hands clutched the blankets in front of his face, his normally smiling face replaced with such an adorable frown that the boy looked younger than he already did. Athrun had been surprised that the tiny boy (he was smaller than Nicol, who is also small) was actually a year older than him at 17 years old. Shaking his head at the young, but amazing, sniper, Athrun gently lifted the red-head up into his arms as Nicol pulled the blankets back. Setting Rusty on his side, in the same position he had been in, the two pulled the blanket back over his small frame before sharing amused glances. _

"_He's like a child…" Nicol sighed softly, a soft sound of amusement hidden in his tone. Chuckling softly at the sight of his older roommate, he gently brushed some of the ruby-red bangs aside and took a closer look to the purely innocent boy. A slight shine brought the green-haired boy's eyes to the orphan's closed eyes. "H-he's crying!" Nicol gasped, eyes widened at the sight of the lone tear running down the porcelain-colored cheek._

_Athrun smiled sadly, knowing that the reason behind the boy's pain is the orphanage. He gently brushed his finger against Rusty's face, wiping the tear away with a gentleness that surprised even himself. "He'll be ok…" Athrun whispered, not understanding why it felt so strongly to be the truth, but knowing it was._

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_Staring in shock, tears ran down Athrun's face behind the mask. Everything seeming to go in slow motion, he watched the lady spin around, raise her gun and fire it. Tracking the bullet's trek towards the red-haired sniper; wanting desperately to run and tackle Rusty to avoid either of them getting hit, but knowing that he wouldn't be able to beat a fired bullet, no matter how fast he is. Green eyes watched the silvery-colored eyes widen in shock, the older boy's lips parting in a silent scream. Watching, Athrun saw Rusty's expression become pained when the bullet made contact with his chest._

"_Z-Zala…kun…" The murmured words fill the air, but only Athrun could hear them. Rusty's helmet fell off as he fell; freeing the ruby-red locks from their imprisonment. Blood flows slowy from the wound, barely noticed on the red uniform. A soft thud echoed through the blunette's mind as the lithe teenager's body hits the cold warehouse ground. Athrun dashed towards Rusty, pulling the red-head onto his lap. "S-sorry…Athrun…" he whispered, his breathe stopping short and the will to live vanishing from the bright silver eyes, dulling them so considerably that Athrun is reminded of looking through a window with a candle in the sill and watching it be blown out. _

"_R-Rusty…" Athrun choked. Closing the empty silver eyes, Athrun made a sign of a cross on his chest, whispering a soft prayer. Gently unclasping the eagle pendant, he bowed his head. "I'll defeat them…I'll become the new 'War Hero'," he vowed, punching the ground beside them before gently setting Rusty onto the ground and pushing himself up. "I will stay alive…" he whispered, knowing that Rusty would have wanted him to. "I will…"_

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Tears sting at Athrun's eyes, the memories too vivid to look through them. Blinking, he buried his head into his knees, letting the sobs wrack his body. "W-why, Rusty? Y-you w-were the b-best m-marksman in our academy…w-why didn't you kill her?" he choked out, not caring that Murrue was now one of his friends. All he cared about was the fact that there was too much of a chance that Rusty allowed himself to be killed. "W-why?"

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_**Ok, there's some of Athrun's memories with Rusty. Next is going to be Dearka, then Yzak, then Nicol and then Miguel. **_


	2. Dearka

**Rusty Story**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed, but I suppose I own Rusty's personality since it never is mentioned in the books or show.**_

_**Ok, I had fun writing my one-shot, Ultimate Sacrifice, and I got some good reviews. I decided to do another Rusty story, but this one going more into his background (that I invented since, again, it wasn't mentioned in Gundam Seed. Please read and review!**_

_**Character: Mostly Athrun and Rusty, though it has a few others. I'm going from Athrun's POV, the last one to actually sit down and think about it, all the way down to Miguel's before Kira kills him. (Damn Kira…got Rusty killed; killed Miguel, Nicol, and Raw Le Klueze (or however you spell it); gave Yzak the scar…etc, etc…) **_

_**Also, from now on, any memories are going to be in the character's point of view. **_

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Dreading this very moment in time where he had to go through the memories of those that have died in the war, instead of tucking them away and never thinking back, Dearka still knew that it was a necessary thing in moving on; and he knows that if there is one thing he needs to do, it is move on. Thinking a bit more cynically than he normally allows, a morbid thought echoes through his mind. _'Out of the six of us in Le Klueze's squad, only three of us lived. Not even Le Klueze himself made it out…'_

The death that hurt him the most had to be the little red-head's. Unlike what most people thought, the two of them had been quite close, almost as close as Dearka is with Yzak. They had met at the academy; it was hard not to talk to the boy. He was so charismatic; he drew everyone towards himself like flies to honey. But Dearka has never argued that the meeting was one of the best things that happened in his life; Rusty understood him so well…and was such an amazing person; it would kill Dearka if he had lived his life without ever meeting that tiny red-headed orphan.

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_Sniggering softly as my best friend had gone off in a huff about being second-best to 'that Zala', I can't help but refuse to pay attention to my history teacher. Why did we have to learn history anyway? It's not like we're going to be doing anything other than following orders to, quote from my own father, 'Kill the Natural-scum'. And I couldn't even bug Yzak, he had weapons training!_

"_What do you have to say for yourself?" the teacher, Mr. What's-it's-face, hollered at a small red-head. The silence after the teacher's outburst gained my attention most effectively. _

_A small red-headed boy stood at the door, his pinky stuck into his ear like the way people do when someone is too loud and that they're just not interested in what the yeller has to say. Frowning softly, the boy blinked in a seriousness that didn't suit his looks. "I was goofing off with my roommate and completely and utterly neglected to watch the time. Of course, it is also my fault that our clock was stuck an hour late due to me changing the hands backwards. I deeply apologize for having to waste your time with this explanation, but all I can think up at the moment is either the truth, or that I missed the bus. But seeing as we live here at the academy, the latter won't work…" he had said in a monotone voice, his face unchanging. _

_Expecting to hear the teacher snap, I didn't have to wait for long. Poor kid looked so smug even as he took the teacher yelling right in his face. The boy's eyes were lit with an amusement that clearly didn't fit someone as young as him. It's like he is pitying the man for acting that way; that he has faced it so many times that it doesn't bother him, only makes him feel amused, yet sad for the person yelling at him. Like I said, it doesn't suit someone that young. He's 17, if he's in this class. He actually looks like he's 15._

"_Drop and give me fifty, Mackenzie!" Mr. What's-it's-face cried, pointing to the ground at the front of the class. _

_Grinning, the boy…Mackenzie, shrugged and his eyes lit up with amusement once more, but this one seemed as if he was amused at the punishment. He was one strange kid, I could tell you that, as I watched him kneel on the ground and start his push-ups with surprising ease for someone as tiny in stature as him._

_When Mackenzie finished, he bowed to Mr. What's-it's-face and saluted him, a grin playing on his lips. "Thank-you, sir. It was an honor to do push-ups on the same floor as you had when you were in this academy…" Whoever this Mackenzie was, he sure had guts. He didn't seem worried the least-bit of what happened to trouble makers at this place. _

_Dumb-founded, Mr. What's-it's-face looked at Mackenzie with a blank expression on his ugly mug (suiting him more than anything, if you ask me) before laughing and clapping Mackenzie on the shoulder. "Get to your seat, kid…" was all he could fathom to say to the boy's attitude, chuckling softly. "I haven't had a kid like you since…since…" Eyes widened; the teacher turning to get a closer look at the boy. "…I-I see…" he said, shaking his head in bewilderment. "So you're his son; no wonder about that attitude of yours. Get a seat, Mackenzie…"_

_What it had meant, I hadn't known at the time. What it was, though, was the fact that Rusty was the orphaned son of Caleb Mackenzie, the War Hero, and that Caleb had the same personality. I had seen picture's of Caleb before; the only thing similar between the two of them was the strange, smoky, yet silver eyes that seemed to have a sort of mist-like quality to them. It seemed as if Rusty got his looks from his mother; the red-head beauty that caught and tamed Caleb's wild heart. She was tiny, as well._

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Dearka smiles softly, still remembering his own look of shock at how easy Rusty had gotten off from Mr. What's-it's-face. Yes, that's right; he still doesn't remember the teacher's name. Never will, most likely, even if Mr. What's-it's-face screamed it into his ear over an over again. He never did listen to that teacher; why start now?

Gently removing a photo from the book Rusty had given him in his will, he looks at the photo Mrs. Mackenzie, Rusty's mom. Rusty had kept it in this book, a mystery novel that seemed rather interesting; he would have buried it with Rusty, but instead put in the photo of Caleb and Marie (his mom's name) instead.

Tiny, the same size as Rusty had been in the academy, the woman has a soft, sad look in her light green eyes. From what Rusty had told him, the photo had been taken a year after Caleb's death; almost five months since Rusty had been born. It was the last photo ever taken of her before her death three months after. She had committed suicide, no longer strong enough to live without Caleb's love. 'She met him in the otherworld' was what Rusty had always insisted. Rusty's own hair color came from Marie. Her long hair, easily to her waist, if not longer, was perfectly straight and soft; even from just looking with a picture. She wore a black dress, running from her shoulders to her ankles, hugging her regained curves gently. The dress was sleeveless. It was the very dress that she wore when Caleb had proposed. He promised her that he'd come back alive and marry her; he never did. She died in that dress.

Tears sting Dearka's eyes as he remembers the streaks running down Rusty's cheeks when he talked about it, a soft smile on his slips; too sad to look compatible with Rusty's personality. "R-Rusty…" he chokes out, rubbing at his eyes.

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_Rusty turns to me and smiled a thin, sad smile. "It seems like we're in much the same boat, huh, Elthsman-san?" the boy whispered, his arms moving to wrap around his small form. Tears glisten in his smoky eyes as he held the photo gently in his hands. "I don't have any parents, and I hate my guardian…and you only have you're dad, and you hate him…" he said, shutting his eyes. A lone tear slid down his cheek. "We're alone, huh?" He wiped his face and smiled brightly at me; smiling through his tears. "B-but we have each other…we have friends…we have people who love us, just not family…we can survive…" he told me. _

"_R-Rusty…" I whispered. At the time, I had thought he was an idiot; a sentimental idiot. Now I could say without a doubt that those words were the wisest I'll probably ever hear. _

_Twirling in a circle, Rusty embraced the chilly breeze from the ocean. The sea spray splashed his face, erasing all evidence of the tears that had slipped down the porcelain cheeks. His smoky silver eyes glowed with life stronger than I had ever seen before, and a grin played out gently on his lips. That boy…he had the world all figured out, I think. He knew about death, and life; he knew about sadness and joy. He knew that you can't dwell on the past like his mother had, and you can't focus on the future only, as well. He knew that to live life was to take things as they come; and he did just that every single day to the very second before he died. _

"_Life…it's hard, either way. You need someone to care about you; you need a friend who will care about you no matter what you do. I have you, Jule-san, Zala-kun, Amarfi-kun, and a bunch of others. I have this attitude that attracts people, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world…" he admitted, sitting on a rock and staring as the sun started to lower on the PLANTs. He raised a hand towards the sun and fisted the light still there. "Grasp life…and live without regret!" he murmured, smiling a soft smile._

"_D-don't act older than you are, Rusty…" I argued, sitting beside him and grabbing him into a headlock. I laughed as he cried for mercy in a joking way. "Live life your own age, Rusty…you told Yzak the same thing once…"_

_Rusty smiled a hidden smile; I couldn't tell the meaning behind it, but I knew that it wasn't anything bad. Rusty was just a closed off person at times._

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Smiling a sad smile, Dearka places the photo back onto his surprisingly uncluttered desk. Wiping a tear from his eyes, Dearka grabs the green ZAFT coat from the back of his chair. Sliding the low-class coat over his arms, he smiled a content smile. "Athrun thought that Rusty allowed himself to die…Yzak thought he hesitated. He didn't. He took everything in stride and embraced death, knowing he couldn't do anything to stop it. He didn't allow himself to die…he just didn't have the ability to avoid it…" Dearka says, needing to hear it from his own lips. He pulls open the front door of his house. "Rusty must be happy up there…he really must be…" The door shuts behind the blond just as his voice fades into nothing; a click marks the point where it cut off. He's now shutting the door on his past and is going to live in the present…

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_**Ok, Dearka's chapter is done. Hope you enjoyed. Next time I sit to write about this, it will be in Yzak's POV. **_

_**Please review!**_


	3. Yzak

**Memories**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed, but I suppose I own Rusty's personality since it never is mentioned in the books or show.**_

_**Ok, I had fun writing my one-shot, Ultimate Sacrifice, and I got some good reviews. I decided to do another Rusty story, but this one going more into his background (that I invented since, again, it wasn't mentioned in Gundam Seed. Please read and review!**_

_**Character: Mostly Athrun and Rusty, though it has a few others. I'm going from Athrun's POV, the last one to actually sit down and think about it, all the way down to Miguel's before Kira kills him. (Damn Kira…got Rusty killed; killed Miguel, Nicol, and Raw Le Klueze (or however you spell it); gave Yzak the scar…etc, etc…) **_

_**Also, from now on, any memories are going to be in the character's point of view. **_

_**Oh, and I WILL update my Shani fanfiction soon, if anyone wants to know. I'm in SUCH A WRITERS' BLOCK THAT I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!! (GAHHH!!! D:)**_

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Sweat blots the silver haired man's forehead as he tosses and turns, his fingers splayed against the mattress beneath him. Sharp blue eyes are clenched tight with past-haunted sleep, and his lips move in a repeated chant of denial from whatever is happening behind those ice-colored eyes. Tears streak down a pale cheek; his wild struggles slowly calm until he is silently crying.

Those same blue irises open slowly to the darkness of the room. Climbing to his feet, Yzak rubs at his eyes furiously, shame heating his face at having been found with such a weakness. He punches his pillow in annoyance before getting up and looking around the room. It is so much different from his home with his mother. He can't even remember why he had agreed so readily when Dearka asked if he'd like to room with him in this fair sized apartment. Maybe it was because he wanted to spend as much time with his friend in case death took him from the world like it had with Nicol, Miguel, and Rusty. He shudders at the very thought that he may have to go through the pain of losing his best friend once more. He still feels the terror when he had thought Dearka was K.I.A.

Actually, every death of the people close to him called terror to his soul. He can still remember the first person to have died in the war; the first person he knew, at least, to die in the first Great War. Rusty Mackenzie was one of the kindest, yet toughest, people that Yzak has ever known. Rusty's death probably hurt Yzak the most. Well, no. He can tell for a fact that it hurt the most. Before Rusty's death, he didn't actually understand that the Naturals would actually be able to take them down. He thought that ZAFT would have no problems taking the EAF down. He was naïve then. Rusty's death was the very thing that shoved the reality of the situation into his face. After that, Yzak had to harden himself to death; numb himself to the loss of his friends and comrades.

Yzak gently runs a hand through his silver hair wearily, glancing at the door of his best friend's room. It is dark and empty; cold without the blonde's boisterous personality to lighten the apartment. Dearka is out on a mission; he hasn't been here for over a week now. It feels empty without him. It gives Yzak too much time to think about the wars. Just like now…

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_I watched silently as Dearka chatted with the new kid, or at least, he seemed like a new kid at the time. Rusty had always stayed in the back. His scores, while not low, were not anything to bring attention to like mine and Athrun's almost perfect scores. At the time, I thought that Rusty was an average fighter; now, I know that he did the same thing as Dearka did. He held back his true potential to make it seem like he was average when he could be one of the top students in the academy. _

"_Yo, Yzak!" Dearka cried, waving towards me with an amused grin on his features. I sighed heavily and walked towards the two, not knowing what to expect. I certainly didn't expect Rusty to be the kind of person he was. I expected him to be a joking slacker like Dearka, not the kind-hearted fighter that he was._

_I stopped in front of them, setting a hand on my waist impatiently. People _still _make fun of me for that; they say it makes me look even more feminine that I already _do_, the bastards. I caught Dearka's amethyst eyes steadily with my own ice blue ones, drawing an explanation out of him._

_Dearka ran a tan, brown hand through his unruly blond hair under the steadiness of my gaze. "Yzak, this is Rusty Mackenzie. He is in a lot of our classes, now that I think about it. He's an awesome guy…" he muttered calmly, motioning to the small red-head. "Rusty, this is Yzak Jule. He's my closest friend," he told Rusty, smiling as he motioned to me._

"_Nice to meet you, Jule-san…" Rusty said softly, holding his hand out to shake mine. _

_Shaking his hand, I sat down in front of the two. They were sitting at one of the six-seated tables in the cafeteria. Rusty sat beside Dearka, so I sat across from him. I peered silently at the boy, not sure what to make of them. He spoke with a Japanese-like dialect, adding the honorifics, though it was quite obvious that he wasn't from a Japanese line. After all, how many pale, red-headed Japanese people have you met? "You, as well," I murmured, deciding that he knew someone who was Japanese and that person had raised him. How correct my theory was, now that I think about it._

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Yzak can't help but smile sadly at how cold he was to Rusty in the first few meetings. Indeed, Dearka had been right that Rusty was in most of their classes. Yzak was unimpressed with the boy's scores and thought him to be like Nicol; too kind and weak. Though, unlike Nicol, he wasn't known to have excelled in anything while the green-haired boy was an amazing strategist.

It took two months to actually find out that Rusty was hiding his true strength. And, as much as it shamed Yzak to think about it, the only reason he found out was because he held no trust for him.

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_My eyes narrowed suspiciously when I saw Rusty sneaking off after curfew. I was up to get a glass of water. Not trusting the red-head, I decided to follow him out of the academy, glad that I had changed into a pair of sweats and a long sleeved shirt when I got up for the late night stroll to the kitchen. Quickly ducking behind him, I followed him out into the night and into one of the empty fields. _

_He pulled of his jacket in the chilly night air stubbornly, only wearing a t-shirt, sweats and running shoes. Setting it down onto the due-damp grass, he pulled his shoes off leaving him only in his socked feet. He set his shoes beside the jacket. Kneeling so one knee touched the grass and his hands held him up in front of him, he carefully fell into a starting position. He quickly starts to run, easily beating his normal scores and actually beating me and Athrun's speed with ease. He was quick. _

_Gasping softly, he stopped and turned to look in my direction. I knew that I had been caught and stepped out of the shadows._

"_Jule-san…" he whispered softly, walking to his stuff before slipping his shoes back on. He slipped his jacket over his bare arms, looking over at me with guilt-filled smoky eyes. "I…why did you - -?" He didn't finish his question and instead gazed sullenly at his feet. "I'm sorry. You must have seen me sneaking out and followed me. You…don't trust me, do you, Jule-san?" he murmurs faintly, not meeting my eyes. _

_The soft words of the kind boy nearly stabbed me in the chest. It made me feel so guilty. How could I _not _trust this boy? He has given me no reason to doubt him. "I…I'm sorry, Mackenzie. I didn't. I do now, though. Why didn't you tell me you were that fast? Why don't you show that speed in class?" I questioned, leading him back inside. He didn't follow. I turned back to face him, catching sight of the tears slipping down his cheeks. "W-what?"_

_In the moonlight, he looked absolutely heartbreaking like that. The tears almost glowed against the porcelain-like skin, and his smoky eyes mirrored the eeriness of the night, showing sorrow. "I'm a no-name orhan to everyone at this academy…if I suddenly beat them like it was nothing, what do you think they'd do? What would YOU do, Jule-san?"_

_I blinked in surprise. "What are you-" I stopped when he shot me a hard look and decided to humor him. What I came up with wasn't pleasant. I hated Athrun because he was better than me, but I knew that was because he was the son of assistant-chairman Zala. If Rusty had beaten me before I became ucustomed to his personality, I would hate him because I was beaten by a no-named orphen, just as he said. "You're right, and I apologize."_

_Rusty grinned weakly and wiped his tears away roughly. "Ain't I always right, Jule-san?" he joked, laughing lightly. He turned to the the stary sky and smiled patiently. "When the final week hits, I'll show them what I really can do. That way, I won't have to deal with any bitter failures," he told me, his smoky eyes trained on me carefully. "Thank you, Jule-san. For trusting me, now. Thank you."_

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Yzak rubs his eyes from the moisture collecting once more. When Rusty looked at him, he saw such respect and caring that it nearly broke his heart. It did break his heart when Rusty never made it out of Heliopolis. Like Nicol, Rusty never liked to fight and wasn't cut out for it; he was just too kind. But also like Nicol, even if he wasn't made for fighting, he could hold his own if he needed to.

When finals did come, Rusty beat Yzak in marksmanship, speed, and flight simulation. He had incredable reflexes that he may have inhereted from his father. He probably would have been the only one out of their team who could have taken out Kira. Actually, if Nicol got serious and lost his caring nature, he probably could have come up with a strategy to win, as well.

Rusty's death broke Yzak's melting ice heart into pieces. He was the closest friend he had besides Dearka.

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"_Athrun, where's the Strike?" _

_Even through the communication device, I could hear the fear and worry in Dearka's voice. My own blue eyes stung slightly and my heart felt crushed. I ran towards the bridge of the ship from the piolts' little waiting room, fear blinding my hatred for the Aegis's new pilot._

"Athrun!" I shouted when I caught sight of the blue-haired coordinator. "Where is Rusty?! Where is he?!" I don't even know when I had grabbed the front of Athrun's mobile suit uniform, but I had. I pulled Athrun close threateningly, my blue eyes searching emerald desperately. I saw unshed tears and I felt my heart fall into my gut. "N-no, he can't be-" I whimpered, letting Athrun go and falling to my knees. "No…"

_I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Dearka's pained, but calm expression. Out of all of us, Dearka was the only one who could keep his composure in these types of situations. "I…see..." he whispered, amethyst eyes dry. "How?" _

_Athrun fell to his knees beside me and Nicol hugged him tightly. "The Strike fell into the Earth Alliance's hands. Before it did, though, Rusty was going to shoot the pilot. He…just seemed to stop, though. A boy our age warned the woman and she shot him; Rusty didn't move! He let it happen!" Athrun cried, sobbing into his hands. "Miguel is handling the pilot. The boy is in the Strike with her…"_

_My eyes widened and the only thought that went through my mind was that Rusty hesitated. I couldn't believe that he would allow himself to die; he hesitated. _

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Now that he thinks back, Yzak believes Dearka knew something then that none of them did. Athrun still believes that Rusty allowed it to happen. Yzak knew that Rusty wanted life more than anything in the world, that makes him think that Rusty hesitated. But, Dearka thought completely differently. He thought that Rusty saw it coming, just couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Dearka, I never saw it happen, but you might just be right…"

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_**Ok, there is Yzak's. Now I'll finish Nicol's sometime. Hope you like,**_

_**-LaZ**_


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